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Neighbours

The painting is now pretty much finished apart from the door frames, and there are just a few items of furniture left to get. The sofa is currently in the garage because it wouldn't fit through the main door :-( As I write this, Sarah is currently sitting on a pink lilo - no joke! As you can imagine, we've spent a lot of time in Ikea over the past month, and dare I admit it, I'm starting to enjoy Ikea. But take my advise, please don't go on a Friday night. Everyone, along with every single person from their extended family goes on a Friday night. The only good thing about Friday night Ikea is that it is also homo night!

Talking of which, unless my gaydar/eyesight have been slightly damaged in the move, we've spotted another lesbot couple in the block. So it would appear that we're not the only gays in the village. Naturally we'll be hanging the dungarees and tank tops out to dry on the terras to display our solidarity. Next door to us we have some ppl from the Netherlands who smoke pot for dinner and breakfast. Here's me thinking I was bad having chocolate cake for my main meals. Across the road we have pigeon man, who I talk to in pigeon dutch (sorry, couldn't resist). He has over 100 competition pigeons and other bird type things. I have to stop myself from shouting BBBIIIIIIIIIRRRDMAAAAAN every time I see him.

Fly fishing

As cultured individuals, we were quite astonished at just how much fun we've been having at fly baiting. No, I'm not talking Venus fly traps. Just your plain and simple sticky fly tape that you see hanging in dodgy kebab shops. I couldn't stop laughing last night when Sarah took it upon herself to be the sticky tape sticker-uperer. On her first attempt she got the roll stuck to her chin! Bless, she wasn't too pleased.

We've now placed a bet to see how many flies will be attached to said devices by the end of the week. Is that gross? So far, we just have one poor we soul. Answers on a postcard please. And whilst we're at it, why do flies seem to fly in a square pattern? Can you tell that we're living in the country?!

Sundays

Life is fab people! I officially own garden furniture!!! We went to Ikea yesterday for the third weekend in a row, yes, it was a slight struggle. We got to the end of the market place just to realise that there were a few things that we'd forgotten to pick up. Have you ever tried going against the flow of traffic in Ikea on a Saturday? Not easy. Add to that a rather heavy iron board (my old Tesco one was lighter lol), hunners of kids in the way eager to get to the end for their hot dog or ice cream and a few dodgy trolly pushers who clearly couldn't control them.

All in all, it was a very successful shopping day. I'm now sitting on my terras with my new garden furniture and I'm absolutely loving it. Why move to the continent if you can't enjoy sitting out on your terras! We're lucky, we're one of the first apartments to catch the sun in the morning and we have it for most of the day too. Of course, in preparation for this, I bought my factor 50 sun cream or should I say sun block. Sarah is currently sun bathing and I, the ever alabaster-one, am sitting in the shade with a full length sleeve top on and trousers. You can take the girl out of Scotland but you can't take Scotland out of the girl!

J-ho expands

Dearest Annika and Gill, I'm branching out. I've decided that the people of Rotterdam need my help to find them the most fulfilling vocations and vacations ;-)


I wonder if they realise the connotations lol...