Ziekenhuis

The ambulance crew fitted a neck brace to me before they got me out of the car. I've worn one of these before, and they're the most uncomfortable things ever! Part of me thinks that it's a ploy to distract you from the real pain else where on your body. Luckily this time (and surprisingly), they didn't have me on a back board. The only reason I say luckily is that backboards are also terribly uncomfortable. Or it could be the fact that the last time i was on one, I had actually fractured my spine that made me uncomfortable.


When I got to the ER I was complaining to Sarah and the doctors that the neck brace was really sore. Of course, there was nothing that could be done, I had to wear the brace until all of my scans were complete. I tearily said to Sarah that I was sure that it was cutting of the blood supply to my brain at the back of my neck around my occipital lobe. Sarah confidently replied that actually, all of my major arteries are at the front of my neck and out of harms way.

After all the complaining Sarah had a wee look at the brace and noticed that it was very aptly named - "Stiff Neck brace." ROFTL. Well, if I could have rolled on the floor at that time I would have. We had a good giggle about that. On further inspection, she had a look to see what setting mines was on. You know, giraffe, slightly long neck, fat neck, half a neck...no surprise then that mine was on the setting - "no neck." I kid you not. Again, we couldn't stop laughing and it was starting to hurt me lol. I'm surprised there wasn't a setting called 'brass neck!' Some product manager has a sick sense of humour.

Another thing that was causing me problems in the ER was my bladder et al. I was bursting for the loo but thought it best to wait until all of my scans were complete. 5 hours later and up on my ward, the nurse arrived with a bedpan. A bedpan, might I add, that has to go underneath my 'fractured' spine. Without going in to detail, believe me when I say that lying flat is just not conducive for certain movements. I succumbed, and at one point was making the typical constipated old lady in a hospital groan. Not fun.

The nurses were all very helpful and very congenial. If only they'd remembered to actually plug in my call remote! There was no room service for me for the first 24 hours... ;)